tomato.

hey there, hi there, ho there!  it’s been a while.  i didn’t intend to write such an intense post and then bail for two weeks but it’s what happened, so let’s catch up.

You all: Hana, what’s new since May?
Hana: since May? is it not May anymore? oh, right. June. well, May was kind of a wild month. i had chemo on 4/29 (#baldo) and told Nurse Karli that i’d been experiencing headaches. i am a person who just doesn’t get headaches, so this was an easy symptom for me to report as unusual. she ordered an MRI as a precaution, which i had on May 1st. the next day, Karli called with the results. all clear!

Y: oh, good! that must have been a relief.

H: i didn’t think it was going to be anything bad but yes, it was great and i carried on for a beautiful weekend with Audrey and some friends! monday came and chemo rolled around and while Gruve and i are starting treatment, i get a notification that there is a new test result in my chart - the MRI report. if there are types of people out there who don’t read these reports, i am not that type of person.

well, turns out the correct (in my opinion) result to deliver would have been: all clear in the brain tissue, however there was a lesion found on your skull. it’s likely just one of your bone growths and not cancer, but we don’t know for sure from this imaging. since you’re already on the most aggressive treatment possible for the cancer we do have confirmed, this doesn’t change our course of treatment, but it does mean we have something to pay attention to when we do imaging after chemo and a symptom to monitor.

Y: so, the MRI report said you should do further imaging of that spot to confirm it isn’t a met?

H: damn, look at you with your cancer vocab! yes, the lesion on my skull could be another spot that the cancer has metastasized to bone, a skull met i guess.

Y: and the nurse told you it was “nothing to worry about”?

H: yep! so i asked if the chemo nurse could page Nurse Karli and she came back to talk to us. she was great, she always is. listened, validated, apologized, took accountability where she needed to and referred me to Dr. Shah, who had read the report and given her the message to deliver.

Y: wait, so your doctor told her to say that?

H: yep! so we talked to Dr. Shah. i was in an emotional blackout on IV benadryl but both Gruve and i left the conversation extremely displeased with how she handled us communicating our issues with the message that was delivered.

Y: daaaamn. so, then what?

H: so the next day i called Jean (my ‘Cancer Tour Guide’), i told her why i was firing Dr. Shah, and she told me she’d take care of it. then i scheduled another appointment with Dr. Bal at Regions, to get a mid-treatment second opinion from him and review of the imaging done since we’d seen him last.  he had recommended a bone scan, which i mistakenly didn’t advocate for when Dr. Shah didn’t order it… after telling Dr. Bal she would… and what did the cranial MRI radiologist recommend? a bone scan. which also would have saved a lot of time and trouble when i found the bone growth on my leg in april, too.

Y: it sounds like you made the right decision. and thank god for people like Jean and Nurse Karli! so, what did Dr. Bal say and is he your oncologist now?

H: i didn't see Dr. Bal until the 21st but he was above and beyond, yet again. he affirmed that we haven’t gone off course but will need to get PET/CT imaging after chemo that includes the skull. he made a flow chart of what the next steps in treatment are and what the options will be based on if there is a partial or complete response to chemo, along with his recommendations. he also knows the new oncologist, Dr. Mehrohtra (May-row-tra). they are actually colleagues AND friends, as they live in the same neighborhood. she specializes in breast cancer and from what i hear, might be a little out of North Memorial’s league. i only need a Dr. visit every so often though, so i haven’t met her yet.

Y: okay so we went from the 7th to the 21st, what’d we miss in between?

H: i’d also been working on finding my former attorney,  (now that i am receiving public assistance, my child support order needs to be modified) i’ve only got so much energy allotted for this sort of thing, which is why i haven’t mentioned it, but we have everything done, filed and got a date for the hearing. this has been on my to-do list and in process for a while, so checking it off was huge. the week after that was when i had no chemo because my counts were low, so i finished binging Jane the Virgin (four seasons in under 3 weeks; i think my life is part telenovela)  and that weekend i went on a (silent) retreat from friday evening to sunday morning. then monday chemo, followed by Dr. Bal on tuesday and preparing for my mom and dad to get back from FL on wednesday for me to leave to Denver on friday, get back monday, and chemo on tuesday. so, after having a routine and knowing what to expect from my body for 6 weeks, everything feels a bit shifted and new again. i also started seeing my OG therapist again and had a bitch of a time with some TMJ issues, which now seem to be managed through chiropracty (?).

Y: okay, so you’ve had two chemos in that time, what were the theme-o’s?

H: we had a theme-o the week of the break but since there wasn’t chemo, we are going to use that later (however, i enjoy Colleen’s theory that my counts were low because the theme bombed; we are going to revamp a little for next time). so, i guess you could say the last two weeks have been theme-No’s.

Y: understandable. will there be one this week?

H: you’ll find out sooner or later! chemo 9 of 12 is on tuesday, along with the first appointment with Dr. Mehrotra. my greatest hope right now is for my counts to remain stable til the end of June so there is no chemo in July!  please lift up this desire in whatever manner you like.