august updates.

hello hello hello. 

i feel that i first need to apologize to anyone who once upon a time (during red devil chemo) read that if i don’t write i’m probably not doing well and has been concerned for this reason in my lack of writing since chemo ended. it is true, that i have spent a lot of time isolating and have experienced a wide variety of depressive symptoms since then, so i haven’t been great but that is more so emotionally than physically. 

i thought my biggest identity crisis through all of this was when my body was so poisoned i couldn’t even maintain my fingerprints (there was a solid month that a side effect of chemo was worn down fingerprints) but it turns out going through 5 months of chemo and then it suddenly being over and into a new phase of treatment planning beats that out. most of July and August pre-surgery i felt like a shell of myself more than not. 

on august 14th i underwent a bilateral mastectomy, in which my breast tissue, nipples, and areola were removed from both the right and left sides. after meeting with the plastic surgeon, i opted to forego any phase of reconstruction until healed from this procedure and having (started and) finished radiation, in an effort to get the best outcome from each phase. 

so far, this decision has worked as i’d hoped. as we know from the last appointment with Mehrotra, my oncologist, the results of chemo alone were “extremely good and gratifying” and the results of the mastectomy, as reported by Dr. Chupp, my surgeon, are “an oncologists dream”. only three lymph nodes were determined to be removed during the mastectomy procedure, all of which showed “A COMPLETE RESPONSE TO CHEMOTHERAPY” — aka there was NO cancer found in them when they were removed. they were also able to get negative margins on the tumors in the right breast and there continued to be no sign of disease in the left breast. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leading up to the surgery i spent a great deal of time grieving the loss of my breasts and my independence in recovery, anticipating 2+ weeks of not being able to use my arms for much of anything. however, the procedure went extremely welland i was able to function significantly more on my own than expected from the moment i woke up from anesthesia. Dr. Chupp assessed upon discharge that i was healing ahead of the curve and yesterday at my follow up appointment, the drains were removed and he again affirmed that my incisions look terrific for one week post-surgery and cleared me to resume normal activity as i am able/comfortable. 

i have almostfull range of motion with both arms and the most difficulty and discomfort if i need to stretch to reach something, pulling something weighted (ie- opening a pull door), or reaching across my body. i am comfortable to drive and while i haven’t paddled yet, the paddling motion does not cause any pain and i’m hopeful to get another couple floats in before fall is really here.

i meet with my oncologist again on 9/10 to do a check in and will start working on getting a plan firmed up for radiation to begin in another 3-5 weeks and begin thinking more about which route to go for long term ovarian suppression. 

my mom and dad have been staying with us since surgery, helping me where needed, doing most of the household work, and spending time with Audrey. she starts school on 9/03 and is excited to find out who her teacher is this week at orientation. i can’t believe she will be starting 2nd grade and while it’s been a great summer being home and having extra time with her, i am looking forward to having the structure school brings to our days. this summer she has improved immensely on the monkey bars and her ability to climb and has grown much more comfortable with heights. she has been scaling the swingset at our playground and sometimes is quite the daredevil! Tassie has won over just about everyone she meets and has become a much healthier version of herself since coming to live with us two months ago. as Colleen says, she was previously “overbred and underfed” and seems to really enjoy having that life behind her. 

my hair is growing back rapidly and thick as ever, and my eyebrows and lashes have filled back in pretty well, too. i’m grateful for this, especially because it means i don’t have to be hairless AND titless at the same time. 

that’s all for now, we are at the farm in Aitkin and hopefully this posts. thank you for all the support and outreach!

xo.