12/12: hakuna ma-TATA

today was the day! lucky number 16! number 12! number 22! number 15!

16th infusion. 12th taxol. 22nd week of active chemo. 15th theme-o. !!!!!!!!!!

have you learned yet that i like to quantify things and appreciate finding meaning?

in my last post i mentioned that i know this is awesome and exciting and yay! but hadn’t been feeling it. well, there was a very different levity to today’s infusion than there have been with the others. we started theme-o’s on feb 4 with “no prob-llama” and ended today, 7/2 with “no worries” (hakuna matata). today i said, it feels like we’ve come full circle… of life!

we had a very full house and even children! Dre’s baby FJ and Audrey were both there for a the infusion and my chance to ring the bell! several of the nurses came over and it was definitely the happiest i have felt while in the cancer center.

as Dr. Mehotra put it, the chemo was an aggressive approach to try and pull a Hail Mary on stage 4 status and claim a period of time as NEAD (no evidence of active disease), so the week of the 15th i have imaging and on the 22nd we will have re-grouped with a phase 2 plan of treatment post-chemo. the miracle play would be a complete response to chemo!

today i feel proud of myself. i did a really hard thing and in my opinion, i did it well. i am so grateful that my body worked so hard to keep me going despite the tiny bastards in there trying to take me down. i ran the race and have crossed the finish line in considerably better condition than i ever dreamed. i have been surrounded by so much love and hope and today was no different. super special thank you to all who have been by my literal side and advocated and supported me through my appointments.

none of us know what the future holds but i do know that for today and until they tell me otherwise, i am done with chemo!