1/12: trollin' cancer
it is a new month, a new season, a new cycle of chemo (hence starting the count over). 1 down, 11 to go.
as i’ve mentioned, this drug goes by the name of Taxol. fun fact: Taxol was discovered in 1962 by the USDA when it was extracted from the bark of the Pacific Yew tree. the story is kind of interesting if you care to google. it is predicted that i will tolerate Taxol well, since i didn’t have any major issues or side effects from the AC. i receive IV steroids and benadryl prior to the infusion, so by the time the Taxol was on the drip, i was drowsy and took a rest. fortunately, i don’t have any steroid Rx for the days after and i don’t have the Nuelasta/Onpro shot afterwards either.
after chemo i had a solid appetite for both lunch and dinner and had pretty decent energy after getting back home. tuesday was a good day, too. i made some phone calls in the morning and spent the rest of the day with Colleen. another sandwich for lunch (love me a good sandwich these days), a two hour nap, and we finished watching Dirty John.
i saw my psychiatrist this morning, which went well. the anti-depressant has been a game changer. i once read from Glennon Doyle, “Jesus loves me, this I know, for he gave me Lexapro” and with this, i laugh and nod. i’ve felt such a significant difference, i’ve wondered, perhaps, could i have benefitted from this pre-cancer? after that, i continued on in my mental health day to an appointment with my cancer therapist. i was slow moving and opted for a therapy session focused on restorative yoga, which means i napped in ‘queen pose’, propped by lots of pillows and blankets. i felt rather rejuvenated afterwards but napped for another 3 hours when i got home. it seems wednesday is my most fatigued/sleepiest post-chemo day.
because Taxol is not as “taxing” on the body as the previous chemo, i will go weekly, so long as my blood panels reflect that i have the immune strength to continue. this is a specific you can pray for! we’ll see what the rest of the week brings, and there will be a cumulative effect on the brain fog and fatigue, but it seems i’ll be able to adopt a bit more of a routine these next three months than i felt able to in february and march and hopefully this will include a lot of spring fresh air.
not everything has been sunshine and rainbows… last week i went in for an ultrasound of my leg, as i’d been having some persistent right leg calf pain and they wanted to rule out a blood clot. fortunately, no clot was found. i suspected the pain was due to a bone growth below my right knee that i discovered last week and which we confirmed the presence of by x-ray on monday. it may or may not be new (i had one removed from this exact spot in 2005). i catastrophized pretty hard about all the possibilities of what this means, but for now, i am choosing to believe since i have lost a significant bit of weight and muscle mass, they are just new sensations and no medical intervention will be necessary.
Audrey helped me pick out our theme-o for the week. i asked her to focus on something that could be worn on our heads and we found Poppy crowns from the Trolls movie at party city. sometimes i feel “over” the theme-o but when the lab nurses are accessing my port and telling me they look forward to seeing how i’d show up this week, i remember that it’s all about perspective and a joyful one won’t do any harm.
