2/12: this too shell pass
no, there isn’t a typo in the header, (taxol) chemo 2 was mermaid themed! Fitz was in town for the weekend and mondays chemo — we tried to pull off a different theme but we didn’t have enough prep-time, so we will execute that on her next Tour de Chemo and instead hit up Ragstock to see what we could find.
we were brainstorming puns and the only other one i remember right now was “Under the C”, (C as in cancer instead of Sea as in little mermaid song) but this too shell pass is probably relevant for something (or 10 somethings) in your life, too and hopefully this inspires you to look at the impermanence of that something with a little more light today.
the infusion was rather uneventful, i didn’t have a nurse or oncologist visit before hand and felt drowsy from the benadryl real quick! however, good reports are: my platelets count had practically doubled from last week (they had previously been in the 100’s and we have to delay infusions for monitoring if they are somewhere in the 70’s… yesterday they were in the 200’s) and i am maintaining weight instead of losing it for the first time in several visits!
Gruve and Fitz were along and i suggested they bond over a game of cribbage to pass the time. i learned to play when i was in high school but the quick math turned me off, as that was never a strong suit of mine and i’d hardly know where to begin if you asked me to play today. i’d like to re-learn though, so i asked them to play and narrate for me and after about 5 minutes of me questioning what and why, I realized that was not the moment to be focusing on cribbage and instead napped. i woke right as the hour drip was ending and Nurse Wayne said “you’re done!”.
it took a minute and some fresh air to wake me up, but we proceeded to do some quick errands and pick up lunch… you guessed it, another sandwich! Jersey Mike’s this time. Fitz took off, i putzed, then got back outside for an almost 2 mile walk in the sun, which motivated me to go to Modo for a yoga class in the evening. so, i got home, napped, and then went to yoga. this is record energy and motivation for a chemo monday! it feels good to feel good… but it also felt really good to feel energized about/by movement.
it also felt like a big deal to go to yoga and to find so much enjoyment out of it… about 10 years ago i had a fibroadenoma (a common, benign tumor) in one of my breasts and when i had it looked at, i remember the doctor specifically telling me “this isn’t a cancer tumor, cancer feels more like a rock and won’t move around”. without knowing it, i’ve held onto those words closely ever since. when i first felt the tumor that would turn out to be cancer, i used these words to gauge my level of concern. it wasn’t until two weeks after my primary ordered imaging (she told me she thought it was a cyst that needed to be drained), when i dropped into a class at Modo, that i arched over to the left for a standing side bend and everything in my body moved but the tumor. i’ve talked about going to yoga again a lot in the past three months, or doing it from home, but i think something from that experience was holding me back. i am pleased to report, however, it has passed.
